Thursday, June 10

New Vehicle Added to the Stable

FAQ list for my new vehicle

Q: What color is it?
A: Orange and Black

Q: How many passengers will it carry?
A: Driver only.

Q: Two doors or four?
A: No doors.

Q: Convertible?
A: No, always open to the sky.

Q: What kind of MPG do you get from it?
A: I’ll never know as it has no odometer. It does have an hour meter, however.

Q: How fast does it go?
A: 7 mph forward and 3 mph in reverse.

Q: What kind of engine is that sucker runnin?
A: 23 hp Kohler – Made in Wisconsin, USA

Q: Turning radius?
A: ZERO baby! That’s right, she’ll spin in place.

Q: You realize you are an uber-dweeb for getting excited about a new lawn mower?
A: Yes. And I don't care, because *I* have a new lawn mower. Ha.

No honey on the side or ‘vette, but I got me a new lawn mower, and that is WAY better because lawnmowers don’t give you VD, ask you to leave your wife and kids, cost way too much in insurance or give you a heart attack when they get scratched. They DO warm up to you when you want them to and wait patiently when you ignore them, you can drive them as fast as they'll go and never get a ticket and you can operate them while drinking a beer. They also cost a LOT less than the other two options.