If you ever find yourself on the academic job market...

here are three tips for the interview process.

1) Pretend like you are interested in your own work. If you can't be bothered to be excited about what you do, why should we be? I realize that after 2 to 4 years of working on your project some of the guild has come off the lily, but you MUST have thought it was interesting and important at some point, right?

2) There may be no correct answer to "Do you have any questions for me?", but an incorrect one is "No". If you can't think of a single question to ask regarding the institution, consider asking the questioner something about him or her, or the town / supermarket / bar scene / recreational facilities / worship halls / schools / SOMETHING.

3) If you are giving a talk to people in the science division: "THESE DATA!!!". The word "data" is plural. This data set. This datum. These data. If you say "this data" four times in your job talk you are going to say it to the students and that is BAD. [NOTE: Yes, I know that a linguist may say the word "data" is in "transition" and headed toward the singular use being OK. Not in the sciences!]

I'm not saying the above came to mind during the interview process for candidates for the one-year replacement position we have, but they could have :-).